Let’s face it, mamas, we’ve all probably been there – been to a place where we felt like the worst mom ever, like nothing we do is right and our children are going to grow up hating us. #Momguilt is a scary place to be and honestly, from time to time I still have mom guilt but what gets me through those dark thoughts and trying times are these following tips.
MAKE THE TIME SPENT WITH YOUR CHILD INTENTIONAL
If you’re anything like me, you probably always have something to do. From piled up laundry and dishes, a fired-up toddler, a full-time job, going to the gym, starting a business, and attempting to maintain some sort of social life – it’s safe to say, I’m never bored. But, juggling these things can mean that we aren’t putting 100% effort into our tasks for the day, including parenting. The biggest piece of advice I can offer is to put your phone down. We live in a world where we are obsessed with our phones and we use them for everything.
But say you wake up at 7 am, get dressed, get your kid dressed, go to work and other things, get your kid, eat dinner, have some playtime and then it’s bedtime. If your schedule is similar to mine then that means that you really only have a few hours a day of quality time with your child so use it wisely! Stay off your phone and really be present with your child – this is really practicing intentional parenting. Teach them a skill or bond over their favorite activity. I love to have my son help me with chores and cooking dinner, it’s fun for him and I’m still able to get some things done around the house.
Here’s a list of intentional activities to do with your child when you’ve had a long day or only have a few hours with them:
- Do a puzzle together
- Read books
- Make dinner together (a little messy but worth the bonding experience)
- Go on a walk
- Play hide-and-seek
- Watch a movie together (can be purposeful and educational if you are providing a narrative for your child and highlighting new vocabulary words)
The above-mentioned activities don’t require a ton of effort on your part but they would mean so much for your child. Some time is better than no time and one day your child will see how hard you worked to maintain everything you did.
STICK TO A SCHEDULE AND STAY CONSISTENT
My son knows his routine and looks forward to certain activities in the routine. For the most part, except for weekends and days when we’re a little lazy (no shame here), we stick to the routine. His bedtime routine is consistent each night and his morning routine before he goes to school or with his GiGi is also consistent. My son knows when its time to brush his teeth and looks forward to picking out a snack when he gets home. I provide a routine to not only make my schedule easier but to provide him with something to look forward to – he knows what to expect day-to-day.
ACCEPT THAT YOU ARE NOT PERFECT
There’s no rule book when it comes to parenting. Sure people can offer advice and maybe even researched methods to parenting but as long as you’re doing your best and you love your child, you’re a great parent. It’s okay to sometimes go to McDonald’s for dinner because you don’t feel like cooking. It’s okay to occasionally let your child stay up late eating candy and not brush their teeth before they go to sleep. It’s okay to every once in a while have them skip school so you can spend the day with them. There’s no need to feel guilty because you’re making an honest effort to be the best parent you can be. And most importantly, don’t compare yourself to other moms. Social media paints a beautiful unrealistic picture that everyone is perfect – but you know the truth. No one is perfect so let’s not pretend they are.
IT’S NOT SELFISH TO TAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF
You have to ensure your needs are met first so you can be the best for your child. Engaging in proper self-care can prevent you from becoming overworked and allow you to truly engage in intentional parenting. I wrote a blog post on how to incorporate self-care into your daily routine, check it out here and also check out my other mom tips and hacks here.
Thank you for taking the time to read about how I practice intentional parenting. Hopefully, they have inspired you to stop being so hard on yourself and be more purposeful with your children. Let’s leave mom guilt in the past.
Stay flourishin ♡